Published on April 9th, 2012 | by ALICIA16
An Open Letter to PAX East ’12, Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
Dear People of PAX East (that includes you, Jerry and Mike),
It was a pleasant day in New England and the convention attendees were flocking towards PAX East with excitement. Thousands of dressed up cosplayers put on their “Sunday Best” to get ready for the millions of photos that would inevitably be snapped of them that day. But one cosplayer, Jessica Nigri, experienced some difficulties. She was excited to be portraying Juliet from the upcoming game, Lollipop Chainsaw, because she was a gamer herself. Instead of being met with enthusiasm, apparently PAX received “many” complaints about her “inappropriate” cosplay, despite it being an accurate representation of the character. She wasn’t a booth babe, she was an excited geek who got to cosplay and work a booth she loved! So what gave?!
I understand how difficult it can be to be a constantly-aroused heterosexual man or adolescent, and how it can be even more frustrating to be a mother of a sexually aroused teenage boy attending a gaming convention. I mean, breasts are so obscene! Women’s bodies – gross! Women should cover themselves up more, because at “family events” like Penny Arcade Expo 2012, we don’t like seeing such un-Christian things like, heaven forbid, cleavage and abs! I mean, look, Penny Arcade is an incredibly family-friendly website and organisation, right?
They preach moral values, mantras like “thou shalt not kill”…
I mean, really, PAX has a very strict moral code to shield our children from the horrors of secular society. No nudity of any form on any person, because, won’t somebody please think of the children?! All those naked bodies could confuse and arouse them! But not at PAX ’12, because such exploitative images are banned outright, which makes sense why two of Jessica Nigri’s cosplays as Juliet from Lollipop Chainsaw got her kicked out of the convention until she complied and changed into something less tarty. Because, ew, gross, the human form! It doesn’t matter that her labia wasn’t hanging out of her outfit and her nipples and areola were completely covered – just the hint of nudity is enough to corrupt children in today’s world!
I, for one, am happy that PAX took a moral stand against the trollops of today’s society. I hope your next move is to censor all video games that have nearly naked ladies, obscene violence or sex completely. We can then move forward into an era where our precious babies are protected from such obscenities. I even have a great idea to pitch to Rockstar! Grand Donation Auto: Tiny Toy Town!
All my love,
Alicia “Practically A Priest” Michelle